Friday, April 01, 2005
There comes a time (more than once for me) when it seems that it finally occured to you that time unravels the other side of you, whom you have learnt to forget over the years...
Sometimes, your emotional self steps in and take control. You cry, without any reason. That's what you think. In actual fact, there are reasons. An abundance of reasons. Due to this somewhat large sum, your mind cannot focus on just one to actually cry on. So, it decided to have all your problems jumbled up, and let you cry, and deteriorate your emotional self. Unless if you have enough perseverance to handle all matters and keep your sanity, you won't be able to face life as it is. You would be lying in bed imagining what it could've been, and again crying, for the fact that it isn't what it should've been.
These are the times when you feel that a hug is of need and not of want. A hug is a form of comfort, and when you do receive it, it gives you reassurance that eventhough things don't seem to work out now, you know it will eventually. At least you hope it will. Never underestimate the power of a hug. Any hugs. But some hugs, are more special than others. Not because of how they hug, but who they are. These are the times, when you feel that you need a particular someone for comfort. You wish they were there, to understand what you are going through and simply open up and hug you even with you showing a brave face, faking that you can go through it all without your emotional self deteriorating. But it's harder than it seems, to read one's mind and see behind their facade and react to it righteously, I'm sure. Unless, maybe, some might have known, but didn't seem to have been able to react in a manner of which you'd like them to. Or maybe, simply because those whom you'd very much want to understand, did not want to. Or maybe, it's you whom u should have blamed. Putting up such a good display, that no one even notice.
Quite a number of times you thought that you try to reassure yourself that you are doing well, you tell yourself at night, before Mr. Sandman comes to do his job, that tomorrow will be a better day. And one day, all the problems that you keep thinking of will simply slip away, safely tucked under the pavings, never to be opened, again. But it doesn't happen that way. In order to resolve a problem, you have to solve it first. No matter how long it takes. No matter how emotionally weak you get. No matter how much of your sanity it has deprived you of. It has to be solved.
Sometimes, running away from it all is the perfect solution. At the time. But, for how long can u keep on running? Eventually, you'll have to deal with your problems. Then, those problems might have dissolved itself bit by bit, or unfortunately, they might get more cluttered than it already is. Would you take that risk? If it was something that you think you can get away with, then yes. What if it isn't? It's mind-boggling isn't it? Although some say, that running isn't going to solve anything, in the mind of tthe sufferer, running would at least help to keep the sanity that is left with him/her.
Some say, that you should not think of your problems too much. Keep your mind off of it, they say. You are not the only one with problems. There are many others, with even worse fate than you have now, and look how they've shaped themselves. They're doing very well, and why can't you? It's just plain different. Maybe, someone was there to help them up. To hug them. To comfort them. To understand them. To learn them. There is also a slim chance, that they are also putting up a facade for those around them. Their purpose might be to not hurt those around them, or it might be to encourage those around them to go through it all bravely and reassure them it will all be 'okay' in the end, which in turn will reassure them as well.
In conclusion, try reaching out to people and try understanding them (if they let you to). And understand, that sometimes, a hug is all they need. And sometimes, a simple cheer-up would do, to help them realize that they are happy moments in life as well. Help them appreciate those moments. And to those who suffer, help others, to help you.***OO(Hugs to all)OO***
Atul's the name. 26th October 1984. 5353/53 = fave number. Reason = pops up everywhere, uninvited but very much welcomed. I love :
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*Hugs*,
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My phone,
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Backstabbers & Liars.
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